Our pregnancy journey

We are expecting #9

That is right,I can't believe it. I was eating pickles and onions and got sick.I wondered so I took a test and waited a second,it did not turn so I threw it out. I then was talking to my husband who said after I told him about the pickles and onions.I should take a test.I told him I had and it was negative.I later looked in the trash at the test and it was positive.So I took several more waited the time limit and there it was .I took several more to be sure.I had my first Dr's appt with a blood draw that confirmed it.My hcg levels were 102 mon,210Wed and 470 Fri. So,it looks like we have a baby coming. August 24th.Is my due date.Funny thing is this baby is due 3 days after my 5 yr old was due.

Thank you for all the prayers.

It's been along time

I know it's been so long since I updated my blog,I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed with alot in my life. First, us not being able to concieve and carry a new baby,to going back to work,homeschooling my girls and all the other stuff on our calendars daily. It's been hard spiritually and emotionallybut God has brought me through a whole lot,even speaking to me through homeschooling our DD in her bible curriculum the story of Job,it really has hit me I need to look towards God instead of blaming him for our losses or our lack of becomig pregnant again. It's been 13 months since my husband had is vasectomy reversal.
We are homeschooling our 3 girls,while I work M-Th and Dad homeschools while I work,then I do it while he works.

Onto month 12 of trying to conceive our 9th baby

Well, God has good reason for trying us at this journey,but thought I'd let y'all know my cycle started today,so we onto month #12. We did conceive in June but miscarried,so hoping God will bless us again.

My new haircut

Our second day at homeschooling

Wow,you would not believe the wonderful time we have had the last 2 days, I can't believe how much fun I have had. We started yesterday with some easy stuff,language arts,math & Bible with CLE for my 2nd grader. Abeka for my Kinder.It's alot of fun.

Psalm 16

Yesterday I heard this verse on K-love,my favorite radio station and just began to cry.We have really struggled to conceive after the Lord laid it upon my husbands heart that his vasectomy was wrong. I just want everyone out there who is struggling to read this,it really touched my heart.

Psalm 16
1Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.

2O my soul, thou hast said unto the LORD, Thou art my Lord: my goodness extendeth not to thee;

3But to the saints that are in the earth, and to the excellent, in whom is all my delight.

4Their sorrows shall be multiplied that hasten after another god: their drink offerings of blood will I not offer, nor take up their names into my lips.

5The LORD is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: thou maintainest my lot.

6The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage.

7I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.

8I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.

9Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.

10For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.

11Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

2ww

My baby girl turned 5 today

First,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY!!!!


It has been 5yrs since I gave birth to her. She is our blessing,she was unplanned but I know God truly gave her to us for a reason.She has been the light and the ray of our sunshine everyday since he gave her to us. I gave birth August 15 at 6am she weighed 6lbs and 12oz's and 19 inches long.The most beautiful little girl I have ever seen.

Recieved our diagnostic testing in the mail yesterday

So, today once Catey takes a nap,mommy is going to test Ally for Language Arts and Math,to see where she places. We are doing the CLP curriculum and can't wait.I'm still torn between the private school or homeschooling,maybe one at a time.I might put Emily in the private school and keep Ally home.God is really pulling me towards homeschooling.I find myself getting mad at the girls because they don't listen and are not doing what I tell them,when I do give them work. I know my 2nd grader can do her work on her own,she has done it before.

My homeschool excitment

I can't believe that August is here.I can't believe i'm diving head first into homeschooling my girls.
I'm so excited and can't believe I'm doing this.I'm nervous and excited all at the sametime but know with God's help I will do this.

It's been along time.

Alot has happened since I last posted. I lost our precious baby that was so wanted.It has taken the breath out of me,sort of speak,but still pressing onward. I praise God for answering my prayers by opening my womb which was exactly what we had prayed for.I thought for along time God did not think I was a good enough mother to have more.Little did I know he did.

We have started infertiliy meds,actually we started them about July 6,and all is good.During the course of the injectable meds,we learned that my ovaries did a wonderful job,in fact I only have one right tube and the left is gone.My right side was the champ,making 3 follicles for us and my left nothing.Praise God is all I can see,I truly believe God had his hand in this. Monday I did a trigger shot to release the follicles and am now in the 2ww.

Wish us luck and pray for us.

I truly have felt everyones prayers,you have no idea how much they have been needed.
Thank you.

We have lost the baby!!

This has been so heart breaking.I was pregnant and am no longer.
We have lost the baby.
We will wait till I actually miscarry then start again.

I can't believe my precious little miracle baby is gone.

I love you my baby.

I'm preggo!!!!!

I can not believe this,we finally did it,we finally made it through a tough time of trying to conceive.

I'm due March 8th,I'm super excited and very nervous.

Here is my beautiful BFP.

Today was not very good

I had hope since TTC'ing it would have worked this month.It's been almost a yr August 29th since Chuck had a vasectomy reversal.
Today I started my cycle in which was supposed to be a happy ending but instead it was a very upsetting ending.
Our plan of action is to start infertility medication and in hopes produce more eggies. Then if our timed intercourse does not work then it's of to do a LAP to find out if anything else is wrong before we proceed to an IUI.
I had hoped we would not need to do this but it looks as if we are.
I have been doing really great up until today when I saw my cycles start.It hurt more because I had such high hopes that trying as hard as we did it would have worked,despite the antibodies my husband has.
This journey has been very difficult to walk,I gave up for awhile because it was overwhelming me and taking over my life.
I just hope one day God blesses us again.

Today

Well, today as gone to the pooper. I started out wanting to paint my bedroom,but shortly that turned into not doing it because of course I had grocery shopping to do.
So,tonight I'm going to attempt in painting.
I'm so excited I can not wait to see what it looks like.It will be a hint of light mint green.

Alot has been going on

Well, first lets say we are TTC again,hoping this time works out. All the other months it has been whatever if it happens great if not then great.Not really a scheduled thing either.

The kids are super busy,spending time in the poo with them,cleaning carpets and I'm going to paint our bedroom tommorrow.
Working alot as well when I can.
Just scheduled my classes and not looking forward to them next semester at all.

Today has been the saddest

I remember when I first got pregnant with the baby.I had a 16month old,just moved across country,my husband had just retired from the Navy and was starting his job very soon and was an hr and half a way from home.I was so over whelmed and did not want another baby so soon.Unfortunately God had other plans for me.
We found out Mother's Day 2006.I was not happy but soon after the shock had warn off,I was happy.My husband was having to spend the weeks in another city for work and I was taking care of all the kids.
After about a week of having my blood drawn and countless u/s the Dr's said, "Mam, we don't think the baby is going to form" I was devestated beyond everything. I cried myself to sleep as my husband was not home.I had to go to the Dr's visits weekly by myself. In grief and dispair I prayed so hard.
Finally the day before my D&C which was today 3yrs ago.The Dr finally did another u/s to make sure.She came back and said, "Go home talk it over with your husband and call me back and let me know what y'all decide". I went home waited for my husband and told him,we agreed to have the D&C.
It was the worst feeling in my entire life.
I still greive and moarn for that precious life.

I'm missing my baby who I lost June 9th 2006.

Today was the day before my D&C to remove the baby who we had wanted so much.
I moarn for that baby all the time.He/she would have been almost 2 1/2 yrs old and born exactly 13 days after my 1st born.
I loved you so much and I can't wait to see your beautiful face when I get to heaven.

Our yard sale was sooo good

Today we kicked off our first yard sale fundraiser for my Ally's cheerleading. They were to have the original one at the gym sight but because I'm too lazy and way too mcuh stuff.We decided to have it here at home.Well I have to say 195.00 later we did a great deal. We even had our neighbor adding his stuff and not asking for the money,I traded here and there as well,for an old baby jogger I had.
It was a ton of fun,my husband loves to wheel and deal,too bad it does not work when he has to use it.
I'm so proud we did such a great job.

This poem "Wait" has really touched my heart

This poem a friend on a site I belong to posted this.It brought tears to my eyes,because it is sooo true.
Thank you Paige.

In all this time we have waited for our miracle,God has really worked on me.I think for the greater good.I see much straighter these days.

WAIT. . . .
Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
And the Master so gently said, "Wait"
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your word."
"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a "yes", a go-ahead sign.
Or even a "NO" to which I can resign."
"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking; and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.
" Then quietly, softly I learned of my fate.
As my Master repied again, "Wait".
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine. . .
and He tenderly said, i could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but wouldn't know me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that i give, and I save, for a start,
But, you'd now know the depth of the beat of My heart.
"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that' beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you."
"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft my answers seem terribly late.
My most precious answer of all is still. . . Wait."

Potty Training

Well, we are on our third day of potty training.I believe she might get it. A few months past when she was around 18 months,she started showing and interest so we thought,cool she'll be like the others,well did we get a surprise.She wasn't,she was just wanting to do what sisters were doing.
We have a dry night and a few accidents,not alot but only when playing she forgets and then says she has peed her panties.
So, we are no diapers,only panties.
She is now 26 months,so we think the time might be right.She has done very well.
We are taking it easy and letting her lead the potty training time.

Gosh it seems as forever when my hubby went under the knife for a vasectomy reversal

I can not believe here in about 3 months will be our 1yr anniversary of my hubby's vasectomy reversal.It seems as forever this happpened and here we still sit waiting for that miracle God will gives or not.
We have been so blessed already with such great kids. I can not believe how time flies when your kids are growing older.It seemed as if yesterday our Catey turned 2yrs old in March.
June 9th will mark the 2yrs since my hubby had his vasectomy,right after our Catey turned 3 months old.
I'll never forget the emptiness I felt as we left the clinic at the Army hospital.

Thunderstorms and power outage

Well, this morning was not fun especially trying to get kids ready when there is a huge thunderstorm and your power goes out and now all the kids can eat is cereal which is not their first choice.
SO, now I have got the kids off to school and one to homeschool,plus awards this morning at one academy child,plus our women's bible study is canceled.I'm a bit freed up but really wanted to attend the baby shower for a great friend of mine. In fact I even enjoyed shopping for the baby.I could not stop shopping.I guess my wanting for more children and it taking a while must not be that bad because i can still shop for other people's babies.

My favorite book to read to my little ones

Our summer time fun on Memorial Day

Daddy and his girl


My boy and daughter


Our beautiful backyard


Sisters

Homeschool Journal for May 26 "What does your backyard look like?

Today our homeschool journal is "What does your backyard look like?
Ally wrote her backyard is big enough for a horse.
She feels like she can go pick a flower,it's so pretty.


We have a ton of homeschool things to tackle today,like for instance math,language arts and phonics.

4 days left of school

I can not believe my 7yr old Ally will be finished 1st grade already.
I can not believe she is growing up so much.It amazes me how much she has grown and how much knowledge she has.
I'm homeschooling her next yr God willing.I don't know how but I'll do it.It has gotten very expensive sending her to a private Christian academy and putting her back in the public school is out of the question.
So, in 4 days it will summer for her.

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY

Thank you to all who serve and have served. Being an ex military wife I know exactly what the families are going through when your loved one leaves for war.
I pray daily for all who are serving and have served.

THANK YOU!!!!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!

Selfishness

Well, this word came at me during our sermon at church Sunday.It hit me like a ton of bricks. I have been wanting another baby for so long. My husband on the other hand has no,well low and behold God changed his mind after having a vasectomy. But I still felt I was being selfish in my needs/wants and desires instead of my families and my kds. Especially my husband.
I'm trying a new technique and upholding God in my daily walk as I should have been doing as well as lifting up my husband to God daily. My husband should be my priority after God and he has not b/c my desires have not been met

My 7 yr old is a born again Christian,she has received the gift

I can't imagine to tell everyone,how excited I am.This definately is a time to celebrate. Tomorrow she will take the next step and be baptised. I'm sooo excited for her. The other day,the exact day she accepted the Lord,she sang "Set the World on Fire" by Brit Nicole.I'll play the song. It is so deep.

PRAISE GOD!!!!!!

Missing my MIL

As I sit here scanning the girls school pictures,I can hear my MIL making sure I sent them some pictures. I remember how she always wanted pictures of her grandkids. I was listening to Allen Jackson's new song and it made me cry in moarning still for my MIL. As I sit hear I think of my kids never being able to see her again here on earth,and how I miss her so much. Her and I were close,she treated like a daughter and for that I love. I'll always remember the talks we had,and now who do I talk to.

I love you Lynda,I miss you and so do your Grandkids.

These pictures are for you.

My evening with my oldest daughter

I had such a nice evening with my beautiful baby girl Nicole. She has turned into such a lady.We went and got our nails done,then off to Panda Express for dinner and the grocery store of course.
I can't believe she is 20. Does time fly by that fast.

What a wonderful day of sunshine

Today has been a great day,we woke up got Ally off to school.Came home ate,then started our homeschool with our prayer and pledges. We have eaten lunch and are now enjoying our time with my oldest daughter.To whom I miss very much and wish she was back home. I love you Nicole.

A verse I really like

Jerimiah 29:11-13:

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."

My prayer

Dear God,


I know I have not been the best Christ like child of yours but I do try epecially in this world I live in. I hope you can forgive me for not coming to you in prayer before my husband had his vasectomy but we now realize that what we did was wrong and that we want to open our hearts and lives to however blessings you give us. We so desperately want more children to feel our house to train up in your ways,they will be your children,the children waiting at your throne sitting right beside you.
Thank you for all you have done in our lives,we truly have been blessed beyond that of anyone else in this world or for that fact those unable to conceive,but if you see fit Lord to open my womb and bless us,we glady will open

God Why?

I fully don't understand why we are being lead down this path of heartache,the heartache of secondary infertility. Why,can't we be blessed with more children,I fully have opened my heart as well as my husband. So,why is my question then?

Our egg coloring and Easter morning

Well, I thought I'd share my little ones and their egg coloring as well as Easter Morning.

Homeschooling

Well, I have decided to permanantly home school my children. I feel that I am the only one who can do it,the correct way.My 1st grader has had some trouble,not academically in her private school,but I notice she has changed alot for the worse.

As far as the curriculum,I am going to be doing Abeka,that is what she has been doing,so I feel it is better to stay consistant.

The last supper

Today marks the day of the last supper,where Jesus had supper with his 12 desciples.

Mark 14:22-25

"As they did eat,Jesus took bread, and blessed,and broke it, and gave to them,and said,Take,eat;this is my body. And he took the cup,and when he had given thanks,he gave to them;and they drank of it. And he said unto them, This is my blood of the new testament,which is shed for many. Verily I say unto you, I will drink no more of the fruti of the vine,until the day that I drink it new in the kingdom of heaven of God.


As I sit here,I think of how Jesus did this for me. I never have really had this much thought during "Holy Week" but for some reason something came over me to study and teach my kids about the days leading up to the cruxifiction and resurrection of Christ. It seemed as if God was telling me I need to teach this to them. Oh,how I wish I could walk the walk Jesus took,even through the garden of Gethsemane.

Psalm 139: 7-10

7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.

Palm Sunday

Oh,what a day. The day the Lord Jesus Christ rode into Jerusalem. I think about that day as if I myself was there. I am encouraging all my friends to take a long look this week,remember this week,the week leading up to Jesus being cruxified for our sins. Friday being the day Jesus died on the cross for us,for our sins,for us to have eternal life. Oh,what a day it will brings us. This week our Lord suffered for us,for our sins, our God gave his son for us to have eternal life.
I encourage everyone to read.Matthew 21:1-11; Mark 11:1-11; Luke 19:28-44; and John 12:12-19.

This week is leading up to the best thing God ever gave us, eternal life. Oh Thank you God for giving us your son,that we may have eternal life.

Jesus, oh thank you for all you suffered for,for our sins when we did not deserve this,but you did it for us.

Thank you Jesus.

Our agenda today

Today will be a fun day at least that is what I hope.I'm feeling under the weather sort of speaking. My head and throat is hurting.Well, I need a hair cut because next week I'll be covering for a dear lady at work,and it'll be working from 9am to 4:30pm.I'll need extra time to get the girls off to the appropiate places. I'll enjoy it because it'll be working with ladies and gentlemen who have Dementia. It's so sad watching them wither away to nothing.
Then my lovely son will be attending Prom this year,so mommy gets to go have him fitted for it. WOW!!!!!! I'm so excited.

Not putting much effort into trying to have another baby

This evening my husband and I discussed us not trying to have another baby. It's too much emotionally, mentally for me. I'm mad at everyone, mad at the world and not being a person I should be, my ever being is rolled into this trying to have another baby. I can't allow this to consume, of course it will be hard because I'm not the type of person to let it get the best of me. I 'm determined to have another baby but know that I need to leave it alone and fly on and live my life like I had no desire for more children. I know I keep telling myself this all the time and then flip flop back to jump on the band wagon, but today was the worst for me, and I need to let go.

Life being too short

Today my precious 20 yr old called me in tears and beyond any words can express said "Mom, Joseph died". He happened to be very close to my daughter and they had,had words a couple weeks ago and he said "I'm hanging up this phone,do not call me anymore". She had made him mad. She has been so distraght over this because she never thought that this could happen. The last words to him and to her that night were not good.
He was buried yesterday without her even knowing and she felt so out of place and needing to say something to him.
I took her to his grave sight today and she fell to pieces because they parted on bad terms.
Life is too short to go one with words of regret. If you have ever said harsh words to anyone,please remember to apologise because you never know what can happen or when you go to meet the Lord.

I just can't do this anymore

Well, of course my day started great then a friend announcing her pregnancy. I just can't do this anymore. I went and talked to my pastor at church who said that the Lord has set consequences for our actions of not praying before we had the vasectomy and that those consequences are the antisperm antibodies,so it looks as if we will never have any more children. I can't do this, I can't get over this.It's consuming my life and I'm angry.I'm angry at the fact that I respected my husbands wishes to have the Vasectomy,that I was too afraid to speak up and stop the vasectomy and now I may never feel that precious life grow inside me again,nor give birth or breastfeed.

I wish I would have never gave up breastfeeding my baby girl,I could have had a few more months of that bonding.

This is really not fair.

Had such a great day with my Emily.

Yesterday for me was so nice with my 4yr old.We had so much fun enjoying each other. She had a cheer competition and afterwards we went and had lunch at the RainForest Cafe ,then decided to ride the river boat on the river walk downtown. We walked along the river looking in the water and exploring the time on the walk, we then talked and just had a blast.

I can't believe my Catey bug will be 2 in 10 days.

How time flies when your children age. As I'm sitting here I am reminded that in 10 days my Catey will turn 2. I remember the struggle we had to have her.the joy I felt as I found out. I had lost her brother/sister just a short month before concieving her and the Lord was watching over her.
Today she was playing in her sand box which by the way we bought sand at home depot yesterday. She just loves playing in the sand and having fun. We have been trying to fix up the backyard and get our garden planted,which we have planted only three tomatoe plants as well and four jalapeno plants. I can't wait, I'll making tons of salsa.

My cheerleader

My two cuties in the sun

Yesterday my girls wanted to enjoy our beautiful weather.I took their pictures outside as we enjoyed the nice sunshine.

We are on our way to the magical kingdom of Disneyworld

I can't believe my little girl made it to the UCA Cheer Nationals and we are leaving at 7am for Orlando FL. It's amazing!! I have already made plans for us to have the time of our lives there,to really enjoy each other and to have that mother/daughter moment.
Please keep us in prayer.

The word "Mommy"

This morning as I was sitting on my floor and my heart ached so much for not concieving so quickly it dawned on me,the word "mommy". My almost 2yr old was standing there saying "mommy". It came to me that the word "Mommy" is spoken to me because our great Lord as intrusted my children in me,to raise them up in his ways. The longing to be a mommy is just that,I'm already a mommy,I need to care for my children now and raise them up in his ways and that no matter how many more children I have or don't have I'm already a "Mommy". I long for that word to so many more children,I guess that is why I yearn for more.Just knowing my children are innocent little creatures who rely on me for their nurturing,their care and take make sure they are safe.

We have an update on our RE appt

We had our RE appt and no he will not be doing steriods,mainly b/c there is no significant proof they work in fact they indure alot. But our RE said what we could do is IUI,I'm not opposed to it but at the sametime want to hold off. The RE did say which made my mind at much ease and believe me I was on my hands and knees praying to God to not close that door,to not take my fertility away from me and please give me a sign well he did.So, the RE said that despite my hubby's antisperm antibodies that he has very good sperm count that most men with the antibodies which kill off the sperm have very low sperm count. He also said we could try medicated timed intercourse but my risks for multiples will be higher. So,that is our next action plan after that we wait upon the Lord.Please continue to pray for me b/c my heart is heavy.We will start the medication in April b/c of my trip to Disneyworld with my DD. I found out the other day we cane get the meds for free at the military hospital which is a blessing in itself b/c they are expensive.



Thank you everyone for being such great loving Godly friends,I do appreciate it.

Today is our Dr's appt with the RE to find a possible cure

I'm not sure if I'm nervous or scared of the outcome could be today.Today we have an appt with the RE to find out if it's possible to conceive again or not.I know my husband needs a healing miracle. I'm afraid God will close that door and not sure if I want the window opened.I have longed for another baby even since my Catey was about 6 months old.I was so angry yesterday and constintantly crying yesterday and the though of never being able to have another baby.I am 4o yrs old but stopping my fertility is a scary process. I have yearned for a baby so much as I do now,just to be able to be pregnant,feel that precious life inside me,hearing that heart beat and know this is baby is a gift and a part of my husband and I. My husband has been devestated with the results as well and is so hurting for another.
I'm hoping in time God can work miracles or work within me to find that ending point.

Need prayers please

Well, I'll try and be short with this. Yesterday we received not very good news about a test my husband had at the Dr's it basically involved taking a sperm sample and testing it for numerous things as to why we are not conceiving.It has been 6 months since my husband had a reversal of a vasectomy. He was convicted in having the reversal a few months later of the vasectomy. I knew right away shortly after it was to do. Well,so yesterday the nurse calls and says my husband is positive for an antibodies that kill sperm and that basically the fluid the sperm are in is thick.

I have been a wreck ever since. I can't see God sending us down this road and this ending this way. A few of my friends say well maybe this is God's way of saying your done. I'm having a hard time with my faith,I'm a very devout Christian and know God can work miracles,but my worldy mind is sort of taking over. I'm devestated by this.I don't want to stop having babies because my husband and I have decided to leave that up to the Lord.In the same breath I'm so heart broken.I feel as if my heart as been ripped out and there is nothing anyone can do.I have been crying off and off ever since.

Please pray for me as well as a miracle of healing to work in husbands case.

Love to all my friends.

Today Catey pooped and peed in the toilet!YAY!!!!

I can't believe my baby girl is potty training now,she will be 2 in a few months and I'm sooo excited for the next stage of potty training.

GO Catey!!!!!!!

My baby girl is turning 20 on Thursday

I can't believe almost 20 yrs ago,I was in labor with my very first baby girl. Do you know how excited I was.I was in labor for only a few hrs but rememeber everything down to the last thing I said and my Dr said before my beautiful baby girl made her entrance. She has really blessed me to know end.I'm truly blessed to have her. I remember laboring at my Grandmother's house with all my cousins sitting around waiting and wondering if she was coming that day or the next.I remmeber my Grandmother and I having to go to the hospital today 20 yrs ago for montoring because of my high blood pressure and the nurse saying she'll be back in a few days and sure enough I was.My Aunt was the one who cut the cord and I remember saying "I can't do this,it's too much". I did it no meds no epidural,and only 19yrs old.

I LOVE YOU NICOLE,MY BABY GIRL. GOD HAS TRULY BLESSED ME WITH YOU.

School is back in session for me

College has started today and I'm so excited to start my courses. I am taking Psych, Growth and life span, History,and computers.I think I'm going to love History.

An update on our baby making journey

Well, my Dr in October decided that because I am getting older that it may be wise to send me to an infertility specialist to run tests.
I am having an HSG scheduled for Thursday at 12;30 am. We are still waiting upon the Lord.

2008

As we leave 2008,I am saddened to have had to leave my Grandmother has she passed in December,I truly will miss her and I know she is singing and dancing with our Lord and enjoying her time with my Grandfather.

I'm glad to have had the chance of having my husband have the vasectomy reversal,so we can add another bundle of joy to our family.My oldest to turn 19, my only boy to turn 17,my stepson to turn 16,my beautiful miracle baby to turn 7,my sweet spiritfilled Emily to turn 4 and my wonderful go,go girl Catey to turn 1.

My husband and I have embarked on another yr of marriage,which is now 12+ yrs. I love him like I have since the beginning,he is my best friend, lover and the best man I could have married.He cares and devotes himself to his children.