Today is our Dr's appt with the RE to find a possible cure

I'm not sure if I'm nervous or scared of the outcome could be today.Today we have an appt with the RE to find out if it's possible to conceive again or not.I know my husband needs a healing miracle. I'm afraid God will close that door and not sure if I want the window opened.I have longed for another baby even since my Catey was about 6 months old.I was so angry yesterday and constintantly crying yesterday and the though of never being able to have another baby.I am 4o yrs old but stopping my fertility is a scary process. I have yearned for a baby so much as I do now,just to be able to be pregnant,feel that precious life inside me,hearing that heart beat and know this is baby is a gift and a part of my husband and I. My husband has been devestated with the results as well and is so hurting for another.
I'm hoping in time God can work miracles or work within me to find that ending point.

Need prayers please

Well, I'll try and be short with this. Yesterday we received not very good news about a test my husband had at the Dr's it basically involved taking a sperm sample and testing it for numerous things as to why we are not conceiving.It has been 6 months since my husband had a reversal of a vasectomy. He was convicted in having the reversal a few months later of the vasectomy. I knew right away shortly after it was to do. Well,so yesterday the nurse calls and says my husband is positive for an antibodies that kill sperm and that basically the fluid the sperm are in is thick.

I have been a wreck ever since. I can't see God sending us down this road and this ending this way. A few of my friends say well maybe this is God's way of saying your done. I'm having a hard time with my faith,I'm a very devout Christian and know God can work miracles,but my worldy mind is sort of taking over. I'm devestated by this.I don't want to stop having babies because my husband and I have decided to leave that up to the Lord.In the same breath I'm so heart broken.I feel as if my heart as been ripped out and there is nothing anyone can do.I have been crying off and off ever since.

Please pray for me as well as a miracle of healing to work in husbands case.

Love to all my friends.