No pregnancy this month

Well it looks like no pregnancy this month, I decided I will loose a ton of weight in hopes that will help, I am still fertile and in excellent health, my OB Dr doesnt see why we cant be pregnant. We have lost 4 precious babies that were so much wanted,and our hearts hurt so much because of the those losses. So onto next month. My OB does think because of my c-section and the way it was cut that I could have scar tissue preventing from the babies actually growing past a certain gestation. The last two were at 9weeks/11weeks and she thinks its a possibility that they implanted on the scar and therefore not enough blood supply to keep going. So, will have an HSG, b/c we gave our womb over to God and we dont abstain or prevent or use birth control a pregnancy can happen.

22wks and counting our blessings to be bringing #7 into the world August

Well, I thought I'd add a few pictures up on my blog of my belly as well as some cute u/s pics we have of Graci.

Gosh I have not been around in like ages

Well,first things first we expecting a little girl in August Gracilynn June will be her name,I'm super excited our 5th girl.

Next homeschooling is going great,learning alot of new things.

In a nut shell things are going according to God's plans and I could not be happier.

I'll update as soon as I can.

My appt tuesday and a picture of you

Tuesday afternoon,I had a Dr's appt.Mommy was so nervous but I did very well. You are so loved and mommy has been neglecting you so much,by not bonding with you like I should.
At 1:30 pm the Dr said she was going to do a u/s and i got to see my beautiful baby.I'm sooo excited beyond belief you are growing so good.Your sister/brother's can not wait and your daddy constantly speaks to you and even rubs mommy's tummy.You are definately wanted by all.
Ok,so here is your picture just 10wks5days old in my tummy.
Mommy loves you

To my dear precious baby

Today I got to thinking maybe I should start to write to you,since by the time you'll be able to read this will be in quite a few years.
I remember the day your dad and I started to think our family was not yet completely done,but knew it would take a miracle from God to conceive you.
It took such a long road and many,many heartaches and dissappointments that sometimes mommy really did not believe God would grant us this one wish.I finally started to give in and say ok God maybe we are not to have anymore children,so I'll just keep trying to be closer to my children and trying to really grow within you.It was hard,I won't say it wasn't because mommy's faith really took a toll on her.
In July we had gotten the word we finally were pregnant only to find out your brother/sister was not going to make it,unfortunately mommy and daddy's heart was yet once again heart broken.
We got through it,with alot of prayer,great friends and each other.
In December,daddy and I decided we'd try one more time,just in case God had in his heart to bring you to us,well on December 15th,we got the news that yes indeed we got pregnant.In the beginning it was touch and go but you hung on,we saw your little heart beat when you were 7wk1day old and i'm so thankful to God he showed us his mercy and gave you to us.

Onto month 12 of trying to conceive our 9th baby

Well, God has good reason for trying us at this journey,but thought I'd let y'all know my cycle started today,so we onto month #12. We did conceive in June but miscarried,so hoping God will bless us again.

Psalm 16

Yesterday I heard this verse on K-love,my favorite radio station and just began to cry.We have really struggled to conceive after the Lord laid it upon my husbands heart that his vasectomy was wrong. I just want everyone out there who is struggling to read this,it really touched my heart.

Psalm 16
1Preserve me, O God: for in thee do I put my trust.

2O my soul, thou hast said unto the LORD, Thou art my Lord: my goodness extendeth not to thee;

3But to the saints that are in the earth, and to the excellent, in whom is all my delight.

4Their sorrows shall be multiplied that hasten after another god: their drink offerings of blood will I not offer, nor take up their names into my lips.

5The LORD is the portion of mine inheritance and of my cup: thou maintainest my lot.

6The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage.

7I will bless the LORD, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons.

8I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved.

9Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth: my flesh also shall rest in hope.

10For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption.

11Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

It's been along time.

Alot has happened since I last posted. I lost our precious baby that was so wanted.It has taken the breath out of me,sort of speak,but still pressing onward. I praise God for answering my prayers by opening my womb which was exactly what we had prayed for.I thought for along time God did not think I was a good enough mother to have more.Little did I know he did.

We have started infertiliy meds,actually we started them about July 6,and all is good.During the course of the injectable meds,we learned that my ovaries did a wonderful job,in fact I only have one right tube and the left is gone.My right side was the champ,making 3 follicles for us and my left nothing.Praise God is all I can see,I truly believe God had his hand in this. Monday I did a trigger shot to release the follicles and am now in the 2ww.

Wish us luck and pray for us.

I truly have felt everyones prayers,you have no idea how much they have been needed.
Thank you.

Today was not very good

I had hope since TTC'ing it would have worked this month.It's been almost a yr August 29th since Chuck had a vasectomy reversal.
Today I started my cycle in which was supposed to be a happy ending but instead it was a very upsetting ending.
Our plan of action is to start infertility medication and in hopes produce more eggies. Then if our timed intercourse does not work then it's of to do a LAP to find out if anything else is wrong before we proceed to an IUI.
I had hoped we would not need to do this but it looks as if we are.
I have been doing really great up until today when I saw my cycles start.It hurt more because I had such high hopes that trying as hard as we did it would have worked,despite the antibodies my husband has.
This journey has been very difficult to walk,I gave up for awhile because it was overwhelming me and taking over my life.
I just hope one day God blesses us again.

Alot has been going on

Well, first lets say we are TTC again,hoping this time works out. All the other months it has been whatever if it happens great if not then great.Not really a scheduled thing either.

The kids are super busy,spending time in the poo with them,cleaning carpets and I'm going to paint our bedroom tommorrow.
Working alot as well when I can.
Just scheduled my classes and not looking forward to them next semester at all.

Gosh it seems as forever when my hubby went under the knife for a vasectomy reversal

I can not believe here in about 3 months will be our 1yr anniversary of my hubby's vasectomy reversal.It seems as forever this happpened and here we still sit waiting for that miracle God will gives or not.
We have been so blessed already with such great kids. I can not believe how time flies when your kids are growing older.It seemed as if yesterday our Catey turned 2yrs old in March.
June 9th will mark the 2yrs since my hubby had his vasectomy,right after our Catey turned 3 months old.
I'll never forget the emptiness I felt as we left the clinic at the Army hospital.

Not putting much effort into trying to have another baby

This evening my husband and I discussed us not trying to have another baby. It's too much emotionally, mentally for me. I'm mad at everyone, mad at the world and not being a person I should be, my ever being is rolled into this trying to have another baby. I can't allow this to consume, of course it will be hard because I'm not the type of person to let it get the best of me. I 'm determined to have another baby but know that I need to leave it alone and fly on and live my life like I had no desire for more children. I know I keep telling myself this all the time and then flip flop back to jump on the band wagon, but today was the worst for me, and I need to let go.

I just can't do this anymore

Well, of course my day started great then a friend announcing her pregnancy. I just can't do this anymore. I went and talked to my pastor at church who said that the Lord has set consequences for our actions of not praying before we had the vasectomy and that those consequences are the antisperm antibodies,so it looks as if we will never have any more children. I can't do this, I can't get over this.It's consuming my life and I'm angry.I'm angry at the fact that I respected my husbands wishes to have the Vasectomy,that I was too afraid to speak up and stop the vasectomy and now I may never feel that precious life grow inside me again,nor give birth or breastfeed.

I wish I would have never gave up breastfeeding my baby girl,I could have had a few more months of that bonding.

This is really not fair.

Our TTC journey

Well, today we are on day 10 of my cycle. We are hoping the Lord blesses us this month, we definately feel a difference this time around. I'm not obsessing over any things we do and don't do. I feel more of a connection to my husband over this.
Our EDD will be July 26th if we are blessed, This means a summer baby.OUCH!!! That may kill me since here in TX the summer is torcher,but hey who cares right, as long as I get my baby girl/boy. In fact I was leaning on wanting a baby boy,but I sure would be miss having another girl, I don't why. I'm really sure it would not matter to the both of us.
Our names are Jonathan Albert after Chuck's Grandfather and Rebekah Lynn after Chuck's mother. Our girls are named after my mother/Grandmother,so I guess it's time for Chuck's family.