My hopeful pregnancy went south

Well, Mother's day is supposed to be the best ever Right? Well, mine was when I took a pregnancy test and low behold,got a positive,but soon after I would be told,it was a negative. I found out yesterday,that my false positive was a negative instead.
I was devastated beyond belief, I mean I have really hoped soo much,that I was pregnant,but of course I don't think I am.
We have 3wks left before my husband receives his vasectomy reversal,and I'm not hopeful this will work,why! Because ,I think the good Lord has different plans for us.
So many times we have gone down this road,first,after my tubal reversal,the months and years leading up to my reversal,and after a year long wait,another tragedy.They had said 99% sure it would happen,unknown to be,they could not do it,so another year wait to finally have it happen and concieve my beautiful baby girl Alyson.
So here I sit today,thinking that maybe,I'll just try and remain calm and see what the Lord has plans for us.

The moarning of my Mother's day baby I lost

Today is a moarning day for me,this time 2006,I had gotten a positive test with the sweet baby we lost June 9th,2006.I can remember it so vividly because it would be God would teach me through my loss,that every child is a precious gift from him and we to raise them in him. I had not wanted anymore children, I was ready to take the next step in my life and raise my girls,but God would change my heart and now I want has many has God will give us. I think when I finally realized that my children were not a burden is when God opened my heart.He taught me to cherish my moments with them and watch them grow into adults.

I have been dreading this weekend for about 2wks now.I dread thinking about it,because I am missing my baby in heaven with the Lord.I know the Lord will give us more,but today I moarn my baby,I miss spending mother's day with him/her.



To my sweet baby boy/girl.I love you more than you could ever know,and I am sorry I dreaded being pregnant with another baby,I should have rejoiced in being pregnant instead of dreading another baby. I miss you.

My new found hobby!!!

3weeks and 4 days till Dr Wilson performs magic!!

Today is 3 weeks and 4 days till we have our vasectomy reversal. The Lord has really blessed us with such an awesome Dr in Oklahoma. I can not wait to meet the God fearing man.I have heard so many wonderful things about him.
I have already made the arrangements as far as the hotel,just waiting on a good friend of mine,who is going to give us flight tickets since they are not using them.What a God blessing she is.
I'm torn between Catey my beautiful baby girl or leaving her with a good family friend of mine.I know she'll miss mommy,but then I can concentrate on hubby.

When my only son was born

I remember the day I conceived my Corey,it was January 1991. I was so terrified of having another baby but knew soon,that I would jump for joy when I gave birth to my baby boy October 3rd,1991. It was a cold winter evening,and I remember so well because it was midnight. I arrived to the hospital because early in the day,I had what would be last Dr appt before I would welcome my baby boy into this world. Walking those long dark walls was not what I had wanted to spend my last night pregnant with him,I had wanted to savor the moment with him in my womb. Well, about 6am,my doctor arrived to break my water and 50 minutes later my beautiful baby boy would arrive,weighing 6lbs 10oz's and 19 1/2 inches long.

My baby boy was so small and no meat on his little bones,today my little man is 16,and tall.
I love you Corey Michael.

Nancy

Ally's cheer practice

Well,last night was Alyson's second cheer practice,and boy was she sooo happy. This girl is sooo much like her sister it is not funny.Ally idiolized Nicole when she cheered for high school and did competition. I mean I have pictures of her sitting on sissy's lap just sooo excited and video's as well.

Our first competition will be in October which I can't wait,not sure yet where it willbe,but when I do I'll let ya'll know.

Nancy

3 weeks till our vasectomy reversal

Well,today I sit here in anticipation of 3wks we will have Chuck's vasectomy reversal done. We have waited for another baby since Chuck had his vasectomy in June 2007. It was funny because 4wks post- op Chuck says cancel my appt,I don't care if God gives us another. I was so excited but at the same time so upset that we had it done.

We are going to have it done by a wonderful Dr who is a Christain man who believes all babies are blessings from God,I truly believe they are but till I had my loss in 2006,it never really hit me till then.God had changed my heart forever.

I hope and pray for the next weeks and months to come,God really blesses us.

I am having such a hard time with hearing my friends who have announced their pregnancy,I so want to be so happy for them but at the sametime,I hate myself for allowing Chuck to go through his vasectomy.