My cheerleader

My two cuties in the sun

Yesterday my girls wanted to enjoy our beautiful weather.I took their pictures outside as we enjoyed the nice sunshine.

We are on our way to the magical kingdom of Disneyworld

I can't believe my little girl made it to the UCA Cheer Nationals and we are leaving at 7am for Orlando FL. It's amazing!! I have already made plans for us to have the time of our lives there,to really enjoy each other and to have that mother/daughter moment.
Please keep us in prayer.

The word "Mommy"

This morning as I was sitting on my floor and my heart ached so much for not concieving so quickly it dawned on me,the word "mommy". My almost 2yr old was standing there saying "mommy". It came to me that the word "Mommy" is spoken to me because our great Lord as intrusted my children in me,to raise them up in his ways. The longing to be a mommy is just that,I'm already a mommy,I need to care for my children now and raise them up in his ways and that no matter how many more children I have or don't have I'm already a "Mommy". I long for that word to so many more children,I guess that is why I yearn for more.Just knowing my children are innocent little creatures who rely on me for their nurturing,their care and take make sure they are safe.

We have an update on our RE appt

We had our RE appt and no he will not be doing steriods,mainly b/c there is no significant proof they work in fact they indure alot. But our RE said what we could do is IUI,I'm not opposed to it but at the sametime want to hold off. The RE did say which made my mind at much ease and believe me I was on my hands and knees praying to God to not close that door,to not take my fertility away from me and please give me a sign well he did.So, the RE said that despite my hubby's antisperm antibodies that he has very good sperm count that most men with the antibodies which kill off the sperm have very low sperm count. He also said we could try medicated timed intercourse but my risks for multiples will be higher. So,that is our next action plan after that we wait upon the Lord.Please continue to pray for me b/c my heart is heavy.We will start the medication in April b/c of my trip to Disneyworld with my DD. I found out the other day we cane get the meds for free at the military hospital which is a blessing in itself b/c they are expensive.



Thank you everyone for being such great loving Godly friends,I do appreciate it.

Today is our Dr's appt with the RE to find a possible cure

I'm not sure if I'm nervous or scared of the outcome could be today.Today we have an appt with the RE to find out if it's possible to conceive again or not.I know my husband needs a healing miracle. I'm afraid God will close that door and not sure if I want the window opened.I have longed for another baby even since my Catey was about 6 months old.I was so angry yesterday and constintantly crying yesterday and the though of never being able to have another baby.I am 4o yrs old but stopping my fertility is a scary process. I have yearned for a baby so much as I do now,just to be able to be pregnant,feel that precious life inside me,hearing that heart beat and know this is baby is a gift and a part of my husband and I. My husband has been devestated with the results as well and is so hurting for another.
I'm hoping in time God can work miracles or work within me to find that ending point.

Need prayers please

Well, I'll try and be short with this. Yesterday we received not very good news about a test my husband had at the Dr's it basically involved taking a sperm sample and testing it for numerous things as to why we are not conceiving.It has been 6 months since my husband had a reversal of a vasectomy. He was convicted in having the reversal a few months later of the vasectomy. I knew right away shortly after it was to do. Well,so yesterday the nurse calls and says my husband is positive for an antibodies that kill sperm and that basically the fluid the sperm are in is thick.

I have been a wreck ever since. I can't see God sending us down this road and this ending this way. A few of my friends say well maybe this is God's way of saying your done. I'm having a hard time with my faith,I'm a very devout Christian and know God can work miracles,but my worldy mind is sort of taking over. I'm devestated by this.I don't want to stop having babies because my husband and I have decided to leave that up to the Lord.In the same breath I'm so heart broken.I feel as if my heart as been ripped out and there is nothing anyone can do.I have been crying off and off ever since.

Please pray for me as well as a miracle of healing to work in husbands case.

Love to all my friends.